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December 12, 2005
Enh... Christmas
I finally put some lights up today. I'm not feeling very Christmassy. We're going to my sister-in-law's place in Kentucky for Christmas, so I'm finding it really hard to prepare for the big event when we are going to be on the other side of the border. The things I usually do to prepare for Christmas are decorate, bake and shop. We're not going to be here and I have this baby I have to either entertain or try not to wake up, so decorating isn't all thaat appealing.
And I'm worried that we are going to get hassles if I try to take a bunch of presents and baking over the border. Are they going to want to confiscate my nanaimo bars at the border? If I make cranberry and white chocolate chip cookies, are they going to make me throw them in the big green agriculture bin? If we take presents are we going to get hassles about duty on the way there and the way back? Do I really want to lug presents all the way there just to wrap them up, unwrap them and then cart them all the way back here? How do people usually do this? I can't believe I'm the parent now. My mom is the one who is supposed to worry about this stuff - ARGH! So much pressure and uncertainty!
Do you see why I am not down with the Yuletide? I like having a plan and I like knowing that I am doing what is expected of me and right now I don't know how to make a plan because I don't know the rules and I know that I am obsessing and over analyzing and making myself crazy. So instead I just decided to give up and do nothing which also fills me with dread cause I know that by doing nothing I am not doing what I think is expected of me and on the day I'll feel bad that I didn't do more. And such is my life... worry and obsess - which is why Steve is so good for me, he doesn't care about this stuff.
I am really excited to see my inlaws. That is what I really need to focus on - family. We haven't seen everyone on Steve's side for a long time and most of them haven't met Liam or have only seen him a couple of times a long time ago. I'm sure it'll be great once I shake all these imagined expectations.
Posted by leah at December 12, 2005 08:27 PM